There’s not much research on this concept but what I have read is interesting. If I can interpret loosely what it means, it is that you believe your own subjective truth matters just as much as everyone else’s, and a knowing that you have permission to make decisions for your own life. The power is more about the self than it is about others, but when it comes to other people it is not necessarily power over, but influence toward. When we express who we are firmly that’s what tends to happen. I think of it as a healthy trait because the opposite is feeling powerless about your place in the world. Moving about it like a jellyfish.
One of the things that interferes with having a personal sense of power is internal boundaries about your sense of self and the fear and uncertainty we feel when we’re not sure if we have “permission” to do something. Lets say your sense of self is like a semi-permeable membrane. Your friends and family are just outside of your sense of self, but close, and then there’s other rings around your circle of self that are more distant from you, like acquaintances, coworkers, strangers, the media, the culture at large. Without a personal sense of power, your membrane is more porous- everyone’s opinion infiltrates to the center, into your sense of self.
For example, let’s say you’re into knitting (random, I know.) And you’re prone to thinking about what other people think of you, letting their opinions in. Maybe some opinions are that it’s a silly creative hobby, or that only old people knit, or no one will care about your little knitting creations. When you think about what other people think or what they’ve said, you feel shame about the fact that you enjoy knitting. These kinds of opinions make your sense of self feel small and I would even say keep you away from being creative, doing what you enjoy, and putting yourself out there. Having a personal sense of power in this instance just means that you are able to consider your own opinion first, and when these critical voices come swooning in, you are able to keep your sense of self grounded in that, recognizing you have the power to let these opinions in or not. If we think about it from the semi-permeable membrane idea, you are the decider of what opinions are allowed in. It is an internal process and can be a bit difficult to recognize.
Knowing we have the authority to decide what ideas we accept makes a huge difference in our interpersonal dynamics. In a partnership if you believe that your opinion is just as worthy as the other persons opinion, you might say “hey you think this way, but I think this way,” and hold your ground in an effort to be understood in the areas it is very important to you. This is possible while remaining curious about your partner- and ideally their opinions you respect and trust, while also understanding they have their own subjective truth. I see having a strong sense of self as being really important for mental health because so often we fold under the pressure of the opinions of others and try to avoid the risk of showing who we truly are.
The thing that’s so tricky about a personal sense of power is the difference between having it and not having it is just the belief that you deserve it. Only you can advocate for yourself, stand up for your opinion, believe what you believe, and live a life based on your values. And the only thing standing in between you and doing it is this habit of breaking yourself down with the opinions of others, deferring to what they say. But the good news is there is a lot of freedom on the other side of realizing you held the permission to do the things all along.